How Babies think and how they should be brought up
Tiny kids think, believe it or not
A one-month-old breast fed baby girl always choked on her mother’s
milk because it flowed too quickly from the right breast. Assuming
that her mother would not find a solution to the problem, the baby
successfully managed to suck half the nipple thus getting half the
quantity. If her mother was ten minutes late for her feed, she would
avert her face refusing the breast and go back to sleep for another
three hours. The loving mother used an alarm clock to avoid being
late and the clever baby was very pleased to get her meal, always, in
time!
Samar, eleven months old, asked her aunt to hold her in her arms,
pointing to the clock on the wall which said 2 o’clock p.m. It was
lunch time and her father hadn’t arrived. She led her aunt to
another room, and when she saw the telephone, she pointed to it and
said “Papa”- She wanted to make a telephone call to her father. After
ten minutes her father arrived and went to see his lovely baby
frowning at him. She was showing her anger because he was ten minutes
late. Wasn’t she trying to play the role of her mother?!
Alison Gopnik who is professor of psychology at the University of
California and co-author of “How babies think” says in
respect of child development that babies at birth imitate different
facial expressions; know that a happy voice goes with a
smile. At 3 months, they understand cause and effect. At five to
six months they can lip-read simple vowels and recognize objects.
At 9 months, babies understand general rules about their language and
the sound of it. At 18 months, they know that people may
have different desires and they work on it.
If empathy requires a deep knowledge of other’s minds, babies are the
cleverest in this field, Thus, what professor Gopnik said above
implies that babies think, observe and have an understanding of
what others see, think and want. Moreover, when they are three years
old, they experiment, make suggestions, express desires and insist on
having them always heard and executed. Some three-year olds prefer to
have biscuit with coffee every morning, imitating their parents.
Others think that coffee is not for babies, it is only for adults and
ask for tea. Each baby has a viewpoint of its own.
Moreover, most babies have a huge reserve of latent talent and create
a world of their own, trying their best to test the extent to which
their desires and those of others may conflict. They never stop trying
to make us react to their wishes immediately and without any objection
or delay. If they felt that they could put us under their leadership,
we would be their real servants in their own kingdom.
However, we have to keep in mind that newborn babies are not there
just to be fed, bathed and put to bed; they are people in their own
right. They literally enjoy the ability to learn and to learn
quickly, and they also enjoy the unique ability to teach adults some
lessons. They actually know a great deal from the moment they are
born and they are always ready to learn through everyday play.
Furthermore, they benefit from care and attention of adults and
parents. If a carer brings a baby of 6-7 months to look in a mirror,
it immediately recognizes itself and then recognizes the carer’s.
After two to three seconds, it either smiles or frowns or even
cries. If he or she finds his or her image reflected in the
mirror, beautiful and neat, he or she will smile, and his or her
smile is a smile of admiration. By 11-12 months some frown if the
clothes reflected in the mirror are not clean, and sometimes they
burst into tears showing protest. Many babies teach their parents to
be clean and neat, while others accept things the way they are. In
this situation, they grow up dirty, careless, nervous and aggressive
which in turn reflects negatively on the child’s bad behaviour, unless
parents have the initiative to promptly modify their own bad behaviour
before it is too late. The pattern is set for life.
It is realized that attitudes differ between well and badly-behaved
and reflect the way they are brought up and the habits taught to them
by their parents or carers; the habit of telling lies, for instance,
is the most disastrous. If you ask a five-year-old child who has the
habit of throwing trash on the stairs of the building not to do it
again, he will deliberately throw the chocolate wrapper he has in his
hand and looks in defiance. Moreover, his parents get angry with you
for correcting their dear child. It is always their opinion that their
child behaves properly and does not throw trash on the stairs.
‘Somebody else’s child has done it.’ They teach him to
lie himself out of a certain situation. When he grows up, he will lie
to his parents and they will pay the price.
It is said, that the manners gained from birth are kept unchanged
until death. A child psychologist was giving a lecture to young
mothers on child rearing , when a lady interrupted him asking: “ When
shall we start teaching our children how to behave?” “ How old is
your son?” He asked. She said: “ He is five years old”. He smiled
ironically and said “It is too late” ! Therefore, we should change
our ways if necessary before having children for sake of society in
general and for the family in particular.
This subject is very sensitive but of great importance. Therefore we,
parents and adults, should be very cautious and careful when bringing
up our children who are the future of any nation; they will be
doctors, engineers, architects, scientists, country’s defenders or
they could become, in the other extreme, thieves and murderers. Our
children who are our flesh and blood, and our future really deserve
the best possible care of parents and other responsible adults.
Written by Sana